I don´t want to talk about it

I’m sitting here agonizing over all matters concerning my son’s father, what should I do about it is now. I do not have the energy to go through it, though I should, I write in full and get a response back, call. But given that we have never come so close together that we live together, maybe I can not take for granted that he’ll be there all the time afterwards, after all, it was unplanned and my final decision. I see that the friend has come over to American soil, and I’ve known a long time that Sebastian will make music the same again, little mice have spoken before he wrote about it.
I was afraid even then that our friendship would die out, more or less, and that the time between us is just blue memories, sometimes those are the memories more damage an otherwise.