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Old storys — April 30, 2009

Old storys

Old stories can be good sometimes to hear about.
But sometimes it can lead to big gaps, then I really mean it.
I have my own trips and stories, but not always so nice.
Some people should not be mentioned as I do not have to do with them, I have a life where I feel comfortable.
And rather be careful about what I share with the rest.
Especially if I end up in a new environment and with new faces, I share with me what feels necessary and good, though I do not put the lid on that I might be different to the interior, but have a very good intellect.
And over the years you begin to understand what wrong people you have encountered at times, some remain friends even old people who actually have as I have chosen another life.
And I am proud, but coming back to a new place with new faces again means new trust.
Not least, trust in Enn itself but also in the surroundings.
One does not want to float out of it all and maybe not the bad that not everyone was with and put live.

You feel that what you want to tell yourself is done, and I have as a way not to draw up all the old stories wherever I go, I write B log it is enough and which I stand for.
If you want to know more deeper and more detailed things you can read there I think.
But anyway, what I find difficult to do is to meet new people who talk about quite a few other stories and individuals that I have never met.
I can be very quiet and skeptical then, so I like to meet the people themselves first.
Good to know some things before if you mean it by well-meaning, but I myself have to form its opinion, I think enough.
And then to hear different versions that I am not at all familiar with makes me sometimes very quiet and maybe even absent.
Why just because I have been burnt countless times by liars, scammers and they can have everybody nice and good, certainly not even intentionally things have become so.
But unfortunately I have had to go with the scars for wounds that have been due to lack of communication from the start.

Maybe some think this is silly or aches being a mesa step from me.
Some may think that I speak for myself, I often do not talk about others in a detailed manner before people, possibly I often take myself as an example because it is unnecessary to throw stones in the glass house.
But I say, as I said, as long as I feel honest and fair, I do not complain, because I behave like that back to people I trust.
However, if you always take a chance in everything, you have to say this in your luggage.

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For always — April 24, 2009

For always

 

Tickles easily, like a feather.
I see your smile and shine up.
Please don’t leave me now.
I think my heart needs you more than ever.
If life is dear to you, you remain.
I see you and shine up.
I keep going because I want you close.
I always want to wake up to that smile.
I always want to look into those beautiful eyes.
Never want to be alone without you.
When it’s a fact, without you, I’m nothing.
Do you understand my cry.
Listen to me day and night.
In this I am always strong.
I never distrust.
I let the line run because I love you.
You hear my voice where you are.
My angel my everything.

Best lovin ever! — April 23, 2009

Best lovin ever!

The past is what I have left.

She left  but found.

The love of her dreams became true once.

Maybe but forever it will last some how.

Stop playing around and settle down.

 

Be a woman that you dream of.

I’m only yours.

Thinking about how you always hold me.

Thinking about how you give me such a good vibe.

Thinking about you’re smooth voice.

 

In night and days you can play the guitar.

I listen to that voice and it makes me fall a sleep.

You whisper softly in the ears.

I longing for you every time we split.

Every time I’ll go home you still with me.

I never leave you to some body else.

And that’s me when I have found what I was looking for.

poem one hundred an thousends… — April 22, 2009

poem one hundred an thousends…

My heart dies another day.
My heart shine because of the love you giving me.
My heart will belongs to you.
I have said it before.
But all has it’s time.

My soul loves your world.
My soul longing for paradise.
My soul cry another night.

Let me hold you forever.
Let me be the happy forever.
Let me take you where you want to.
Let me give you all what you desire.

Can I’ll be that one.
Can I reach up where you want to go.
Can you see a future with me.
Can we both make this whiteout loosing.

I’ll be forever in love with you.
I’ll think I would die rather then live without you.
I’ll think I can pass  sex if it aren’t with you.
I’ll get so much joy of being with you.

Motivation att ändra! — April 21, 2009

Motivation att ändra!

Motivation att kämpa.

Tar mig år att försöka prestera.

Jag älskar dig och dina fina ögon.

Du ger mig ny energi att orka.

För dina ord etsar in i hjärtat.

Mitt hjärta vill fortsätta kämpa.

Tack vare allt som sker i mitt liv.

 

Nya infall och nya stjärnor träder in.

Nya älsklingar och hatiska personer anländer.

Försöker stoppa mig från att komma dit.

Dit jag vill vara om några år.

Men det har redan börjat.

Tror folk har svårt att låta mig löpa.

För rädd att våga inse vad jag har att ge.

Läkare och lärare visste.

Men dom höll mig tillbaks för att låta andra gå före.

Orättvisa är det ständigt.

Och nu är det min tur att förbise och gå vidare.

Och när jag kom på det här i morse for mina tankar.

 

När jag kom på att en del tycker jag ska dö spottar jag.

När en del tycker jag ska kämpa så skrattar jag och klappar händerna.

Sträcker upp mina armar mot skyn räknar dagarna.

Räknar dagarna innan presenten kommer i ett vitt paket med snören.

My dream. —

My dream.

I love you baby.

I am not like all the rest.

Every human is unique.

I got my own fire.

And when I start believe in the life I’ll go far.

For you I can do anything to make you love me.

I am fighting till I can`t stand anymore.

 

I got fire enough to light all people up.

I got that goal of a dream.

I want people to see me.

I am a writer from heart.

And still I am that ordinary girl from the neighbourhood.

No one stands in my way.

I have always dreamed about another world then this.

 

My poetic justice has just started.

But this poetic dream of mine goes further then that.

No one believes I can.

But I believe in my self.

I love you and all of my power comes through you when I look at you.

This is the life. — April 20, 2009

This is the life.

Am I wasting life.
I don’t want to look.
I don’t want to get another surprise in my face.
People see different on surprises’ and gifts.
I am me and you are you.
I can’t stop from crying some times.
It feels like I am one of foe that is true.
May be I am to honest and true.
People most don’t like that.

If I would change it would not be me.
I can’t keep on walking the same road.
Believe the best that’s not possible these day’s.
Are we just playing our selves.
Are we just living in some fucking dream that is meant to break.
It feels like some times I am to old for this world.
It feels like I have grown to be a realized person about this world.
I know enough to be hard and not feeling much.
But If I would be like that, that is not much of a human.
I guess I am easy target to play.
 With my careful of eyes.

I always look for the best.
I always try to help my friends and love ones.
I always try to be honest and never deceit them.
That is the first for me.
My nightmares stays eternal.

Mitt livs historia — April 19, 2009

Mitt livs historia

Mitt liv I ett nötskal när det är som mest kaos.
Jag vet inte från vilken dag det vart värst.
När jag flyttade hemifrån helt själv utan någon med mig eller när jag bodde hemma.
För jag har märkt att till skillnad från andra så har jag väldigt svårt att vara själv.
Har vart sådan hela mitt liv, utan att kasta den skiten på mina föräldrar.
Men eftersom man såg I tidig ålder att jag drog mig undan och var blyg, så vart man I stället väldigt försiktig  med mig, tills jag vart tonåring då alla  började ställa krav, mobbning satte djupa spår och det ena ledde till det andra.
Men jag hade fortfarande ett val att kämpa eller hålla tillbaks, våg skål som folk kallar det för, den våg skålen funkar bitvis. Men ibland är det precis som jag tar två steg tillbaks I min process och ett fram.
Problemet är väll just att I vår familj har vi aldrig riktigt lärt oss mellantinget inte heller dom partners jag ofta haft har vart speciellt lagom, ändra för mycket eller för lite närvarande, och så jag själv på det som försökt lära mig balans från att bara levt efter måttet allt eller inget?
Jag vet inte det är som min panik stegrar sig när det blir för hastiga slut av något, eller för snabba starter , jag hinner knappt med och ångesten som jag då börjar skapa själv..genom att syna det värsta innan det ens hänt är ohållbart många gånger.
Men jag kan liksom inte släppa taget känns det som hur jag än försöker att inte tänka så mycket, leva I nuet som allt pratar om.
Livet går inte under säger  andra för att man blir änsammen  för det blir alla någon gång..inte I min familj men jag har väll levt I sagornas värd ända tills jag såg verkligheten.
Verkligheten som är jäkligt bitter alla fall när det kommer till relationsdelar med människor…hur mycket det lovordar och bedyrar sen går bakom ryggen sist faller det bara.
Jag vet inte har haft mycket traditions familjs så sätt ingen har nästan gått skilda vägar förutom syrran.
Och det har väll mer eller mindre chockat alla I min släkt och familj få som skilt säg alltså.
Jag tror det är få familjer som håller så pass idag som vi, och det skryter jag inte om.
Men antar att som min mor och far de lever sida vid sida en, men trotts det har dom gått genom en massa saker och det har ändå stärkt dom enn mera att kämpa.
Men när man tittar runt omkring och mig själv där inget funkat  blir man nästan lite skamsen alla fall jag.
Hur fan kan man hela tiden misslyckas så, jag vill också göra något bra ifrån mig kunna hålla med en man eller kvinna I livet alla fall hoppas och göra sitt bästa, men dom jag träffat har vart för mycket lika mig.
Och eftersom jag nu inte lever som normal med all omständighet så¨måste det därför kanske vara en lite starkare person att kontra mitt liv med, även om jag själv har ansvar också ja!

My pearl and friend always:) — April 18, 2009

My pearl and friend always:)

Some how I will make it.
Some how I will proceed in the making of my self.
I don’t understand why you had to go so fast.
But I know that you are with me.
You make me stronger each day.
And you leave good strength to me.

I pray to god that you feel ok now.
I wish up on a star that we meet again.
And I know we sure do.
With you by my side I know maybe where to go in life.
But it will be several times I just want to give up.

I found my love in life.
But you will always stand my ground.
Friends are always meant to be.
That can never change.
I try to focus on the ones that are left because they need me too

Angående YouTube – Sweet Child O’ Mine Music Video —